It felt like the first day of school.
As a former first-grade teacher, I was no stranger to the first day of school jitters. In fact, I took it in stride. It was easy to be calm, cool, and confident in the classroom. But today, I was none of that.
I had just hung up my full-time teaching position to begin my dream job: a stay-at-home mom. It had only been about three months with my first baby girl, for whom my husband Nick and I had spent two long years waiting and praying. I remember seeing an ad for MomLife (formerly known as MOPs) in our church’s weekly email publication, and was always curious about it. When she was born, I immediately signed up, knowing that the community of moms there would be a great way for me to kill some time during the day without going crazy.
That first morning, I dressed my little girl in a cute and practical outfit, then meticulously recorded her bottle intake, measurements, sleep, and diapers in my tracking app. I then packed what felt like half my house into my gigantic diaper bag before heading out to the car. My little lady was happy and breathing. But me? Oh, I was fine. (Dear reader, I was not fine. But you couldn’t have told me that then.)
I took a seat at an empty table and anxiously looked around to see if any of the ladies coming in would sit next to me. I was so terrified of how these other women would see me. All the different thoughts raced through my head.
I have dreamed of being a mama my whole life. I should love this!
As Trace Adkins so often reminded me in my memory, “You’re gonna miss this!”.
What if I somehow break my baby? How could the hospital just let us take her?!
Am I doing this right? Am I even good enough to be her mom?
After a few minutes of spiraling, I noticed that my table was now full of women. Most were around my age, and some had their babies with them. Some were familiar faces; others I had never seen. We all had one thing in common — we came to this table with a deep love for our God and for our babies. What I didn’t see coming, however, was the deep love we would grow for one another.
Our table leader, a mother of (I kid you not) TWELVE grown children, welcomed us all in like we were her own. My own mama lived two hours away, so this nurturing was especially sweet for me. I don’t remember exactly what the topic of conversation was that day, or anything that was shared, but I do remember exactly how I felt. I felt like a daughter.
Another mom watched my baby so that I could get a hot breakfast and coffee that I did not have to make. I was greeted with smiles and hugs. The moms in this community asked about my baby, but they also asked about me. “How are you really doing, Kelsey?”
That day, the words of my Heavenly Father were presented to encourage, comfort, and challenge me. I received prayer for both the big things and the little things. I felt seen, known, and loved. As time passed, the women that surrounded me became the hands and feet of Jesus in the most practical ways. The walls I built in an effort to seem cool, calm, and confident came crashing down as I learned that this was a safe place for me to be vulnerable and real. In that surrender, I heard some of the sweetest phrases that I still carry with me today: “I struggle with that, too.” “God sees you.” “You are doing a great job.” “There is no shame in getting help.”
Today, that first table of women and I still foster a connection and deep love for each other. Most of us were first-time moms, just trying to figure it out. Each year, I gained new mentors and friends that continued to make MomLife a safe haven for me in the trenches of motherhood.
The number of children involved also grew! Not even four years later, I now have three children of my own. When my second child was colicky and screamed for hours on end, I had women praying for me in the middle of the night. I had friends come and whisk my toddler away so my husband and I could get some sleep. I was brought meals that were lovingly and thoughtfully prepared to lighten our load. Now, there are little blessings running around everywhere in our circle of friends, and it’s a beautiful chaos. Together, we draw near to the heart of God and to each other. 
Each pregnancy, age, and stage brings its own challenges and changes, but one thing I could always count on was the community of strong mothers that surrounded me. They sought to care for me when I entered their midst, pointing me to Jesus and his unending grace. I began to not only be a recipient of this grace, but a contributor as well. It felt natural for me to nurture those around me.
As a former member of the MomLife steering team, it was such a gift to be behind-the-scenes of the intentionality and care that is provided for the mothers and children in our community. In my specific role, I helped schedule and organize events like park play dates and seasonal parties. On the surface, these things may seem surface-level. But underneath the party décor and finger foods, I got to help build a refuge for mothers young and old that long to feel cared for and seen.
At MomLife, every mom from the trenches of toddlerhood or the uncharted territory of empty-nesting is welcome. We learn from each other and lean on each other. In the weariness and joy of each season, I feel the presence of God the most at a table full of mothers. As we draw near to Him, He draws me close – not just as a mother, but as a daughter.
Learn more about MomLife, a ministry for moms to connect, share, and grow.
